Interpretation
by LindseyFox
Summary: Immediately following the conclusion of Fault, this is my take on what could have should have happened.  This was actually my first attempt at fanfiction and it shows. I am posting this is because it is a prequel to a story that I would like to post.


Disclaimer: These characters are not mine they belong to Dick Wolf, and the two songs mentioned were not written by me either, the first one is mentioned in the credit for the second goes to a guy named Daniel Powter.

Olivia was sitting in her apartment, attempting to wade through the events of the day in her mind. She had turned on the radio and tried to read a book, but had been reading the same word for the past hour; she gave up trying to ignore today and gave it her full attention. What in the hell had happened? Everything was going fine, not perfect but fine, and all of a sudden both her and Elliot's worlds were torn apart. She was content in her thoughts, when the sound of the radio DJ broke into the silence. Why did they always have to do that? The volume is perfect and then all of a sudden they blare the DJ's voice, stupid radio stations.

"And next we have another hour long continuous mix, after these messages from our local sponsors." Olivia shook her head and returned to her thoughts. Why did he have to say that?

His words kept running through her mind like a broken record: "Look, we both chose each other over the job. We can't let that happen again. Otherwise we can't be partners."

And what was up with her admitting that she couldn't live without him. She let her guard down and it come up to bite both of them in the ass. She had never expected them to actually have a time where admitting their feelings was going to feel necessary. Why had they ever allowed themselves to get so involved? Now they were in this place of no return; they would never have the partnership they had in the past, and that's why she had needed so badly to be the one to pull the plug. Thinking about it made her cry, again. She was not the crying type, but today she had cried at least three times. She sat quiet without thinking for a moment and focused on the radio. In times when she felt this emotionally unsettled, she always listened to the radio, hoping that she would find comfort in a song. And usually she did. It was a fairly upbeat song, that soon after beginning to listen she realized was "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. She began to sing without thinking for a moment, and then realized that this song was written for her right now.

_I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned_

This was definitely the beginning of a new era for her and Elliot, no matter where the events of today took them they would never be the same, but they could have it turn out however they pleased. Just because this is all out in the open now does not mean their partnership is over or even has to drastically change. Honestly, what would she be without Elliot as her partner and vice versa.

_Staring at a blank page before you_

_open up the dirty window_

What were they going to do about this? She definitely did not want to lose Elliot as a partner and definitely not as a friend. Yes with all this out in the open things were going to be a little different, but they just need to adjust. This was not the end of the world.

_Release your inhibitions_

_feel the rain on your skin_

_no one else can feel it for you_

_only you can let it in_

_No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips_

She needed to give up on her professional, stubborn self, and allow her heart control. She needed to allow this conversation to be a part of them, but not tear them apart. Her life was not worth living if someone else was partnering with Elliot and she had to sit on the sidelines and watch. She was the only one who could change what she had just done at Cragen's office, and she needed to before it was too late.

_Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten_

These things had always been there, but now that we had said them why did things have to be any different? She needed to embrace the change, the fact that they were now whole, knowing the depth of the relationship between them. It was a new chapter in each of their lives and they could not leave it blank and let it end there. They had to fight this for all it was worth, which was everything.

She jumped up, throwing her book on the floor and not caring enough to turn off the radio. She grabbed a jacket and took quick strides to the door. She had to go talk to Cragen. It was only ten; she knew he would still be in his office. She had to set things straight before--- as she pulled the door open she was met with Elliot staring at her, hand poised ready to knock.

"Wow, that women's intuition thing really does work." he said, jokingly despite himself. It was obvious why he was here by the sullen look that quickly replaced his small smile.

"Elliot. Is everything okay? It's kinda late." she said, knowing that it wasn't.

"But not to late for you to be going out." he said, stepping in with a knowing glare in his eyes. Of course he knew she was planning on leaving, after all he was a detective, and it wasn't that hard to figure out anyways.

"I was going to talk to Cragen." I said with a stutter.

"Oh, so you can screw up even more things about our partnership without even consulting me?"

"Elliot, I knew you would never allow it."

"Damn right I wouldn't have. How do you think I would ever be happy without you as my partner?"

"Elliot you said yourself---"

"I was angry. I've had time to think."

"Me too." I said, shortly, which caught his attention. He narrowed his eyes in my direction and helped himself to glass of water before continuing.

"And your conclusion to this whole ordeal is?" he said, slamming the empty glass down on the counter. I could tell that he was wishing it was something stronger.

"I want to stay partners." he looked up slowly from the faucet, which he had been staring at for the past few minutes, and looked me dead in the eye.

"You what?"

"Elliot, I realized that I can't do this job without you. Just because we had a hard day and learned way too damn much about one another, doesn't mean we should let that destroy our partnership."

"Olivia, I've been thinking too." she sucked in her breathe as he said it, she knew that this was not going to make her happy. "And as much as I want to be your partner, we can't do this anymore. I mean, it is not an easy decision, but everyone's lives were on the line at least once today, and none of that would have ever happened if we weren't so involved."

"But you just said---"

"Olivia, I'm not upset because you did what you did, I'm upset because you didn't involve me in the decision." Now Olivia was the one who wanted a drink. They would never figure this out. It was impossible. When she didn't even know what she thought about their relationship, how were they supposed to make this decision: possibly the most important one of their lives?

"What are we going to do El?" she asked, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Liv, there's no question in my mind what I'm going to do."

"Well, then please do share because I can't even begin to figure this out." she said, throwing up her arms in exasperation. As she did, he moved towards her and kissed her. "Elliot!" she cried, pulling away. "We can't do this."

"Olivia, I can't be your partner because I'm in love with you. I know you understand."

"No, I don't Elliot. I want to stay your partner; I can't be your lover. Our relationship can't be like that."

"Well then, looks like we both have some more thinking to do." And without another word he walked out of her apartment, slamming the door behind him. She slowly slid down the refrigerator, and started crying, stopping long enough to realize the song on the radio was now "Bad Day".


End file.
